Beat of Their Own Drum by K.M. Neuhold

Author:K.M. Neuhold [K.M. Neuhold]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: K M Neuhold Publishing LLC
Published: 2023-09-27T00:00:00+00:00

Track 24: Side B

What You Always Wanted

Jude

I was buzzing from the inside out as I leaned back and passed the rolled up hundred-dollar bill to whoever was sitting to my left. I was numb all over and, at nineteen, it was a feeling I had rapidly grown used to.

I’d heard the guys whispering about me, telling Archer they were worried about me. Fuck them and fuck Archer.

I reached over and snatched the rolled-up bill out of the man’s hand…I’m not sure if I forgot his name or if he’d never told me, and I didn’t much care either way. I planned to fuck him later, and it was easier if I didn’t know his name.

I snorted two more lines in rapid succession, hoping it would chase away the disapproving glares of my bandmates filling my mind. Hell, I’d have been happy if it could somehow chase away the memory of my talk with Lincoln that I didn’t know was a cry for help at the time.

What’s-His-Name climbed into my lap and started nibbling at my neck. At least, I think he was; I couldn’t really feel anything except for my own heart beating fast against my ribcage. So fast. Too fast.

I tried to suck in a breath and couldn’t manage to fill my lungs.

Oh wow, I’m going to die, I thought to myself in an oddly detached way. I guess my dad was right.

My hands shook violently as I tried to grab onto the waist of the man in my lap.

“Dude, are you okay?” The trick’s voice sounded far away. “You’re burning up.”

“Fuck, do you think he took too much?” another voice asked from somewhere in the room as the man climbed off my lap.

“I don’t know, but we should get out of here just in case.”

I closed my eyes, trying and failing to breathe as I slumped to the side, against the arm of the couch.

Maybe, if I close my eyes, my heart will slow down.

I could feel hands on me, in my pockets, no doubt taking any cash they could find. The door opened and closed, and then the room was silent. So, so fucking silent.

*****

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